As Monahan mourns Gaudreau, friendship lives on through their sons

COLUMBUS – Standing in front of the stall bearing Johnny Gaudreau’s name, Sean Monahan thumbs through pictures on his phone the way all proud parents do.

He lands on a snapshot of two young toddlers in a playpen he’d taken one day earlier, and he turns to show how his son celebrated turning six months old.

“That’s Little Johnny and Leo,” beams Monahan, whose son is dwarfed by Gaudreau’s boy, who is three and a half months older.

Two little donkeys, as Johnny would have called them.

Living two doors down from Johnny’s pregnant wife, Meredith, and the two Gaudreau kids, regular toddler playdates have had to replace the daily visits Monahan spent alongside Johnny the last dozen years.

“The hard thing for me is being around his kids, because it’s something that we were really looking forward to, being dads together in the next step of life,” said Monahan on the eve of a visit by the Flames.

“We were young kids in Calgary, we grew up, and our sons are three-and-a-half months apart, so you have them together playing. You do what you can. That’s a really tough part.”

Inseparable since they met as young Flames prospects, Johnny and Monny forged a well-documented bromance so powerful that Monahan signed in Columbus last summer to play and live beside his best buddy.

But once tragedy struck, in the form of an alleged drunk driver who killed Gaudreau and his brother Matthew while bicycling on Aug. 29, the hockey world knew that no one outside of the family would take it harder than Monahan.

“I still haven’t gotten over it, I don’t think I ever will,” said Monahan, staring blankly down at the dressing room floor.

“Ninety percent of the time it doesn’t feel real.

“You lose your best friend, your teammate, it’s tough to comprehend. 

“When something happens in my life, I’d usually give John a FaceTime. I go through those situations a lot where you want to pick up the phone, call or text him or send him a picture or something, and you realize that’s when it hurts.”

Despite wearing a brave face and returning from injury to be the point-per-game player he was in his Calgary heyday alongside Gaudreau, he admits he still has regular breakdowns.

“Yeah, almost every day, to be honest,” he said.

“A lot of different things can set it off.

“Even just driving to the rink, it’s basically all I think about. It’s in my head all day, every day.”

The banner bearing Gaudreau’s name and no. 13 is just one of the many reminders around Nationwide Arena of Gaudreau. 

He’s pictured in a large mural on the front of the rink, his jersey hangs in his stall on game days, and every player’s tracksuit includes a no. 13 patch.

Monahan asked for his stall to be beside Gaudreau’s, and purposely does all interviews in front of it.

“I always try to get it in there, for sure, when I’m doing interviews, just trying to carry on his legacy,” said Monahan.

“His dry stall is still back there, all his stuff is still in there. I open it up every day and still laugh at some of the stuff he’s got in there.

“For me, it brings back good memories, because some of the stuff that was in there I was actually with him when he got it, or he has had for 10-plus years. He’s a guy who didn’t change much.

“He actually never changed as a person, except for when he had kids and he became a great father.”

Following Blue Jackets practice Thursday, Monahan went straight to Meredith’s house, where teammate Erik Gudbranson and several others arrived to meet up with visiting Flames teammates Rasmus Andersson.

Those are the moments Monahan and Gaudreau loved the most, just hanging out.  

“Just two donkeys that really enjoyed being with each other,” smiled Monahan, who said that even during the two years they played apart, they still vacationed together and communicated daily.

You can imagine the roller coaster of emotions that came with signing a five-year, $27.5 million contract to reunite them last summer, followed by Gaudreau’s tragic passing two months later.

“Some days are tough to still comprehend it,” he said.

“We were going to be back together, which felt pretty surreal. I’m healthy again and we were excited to see what we could do. 

“He was super motivated. I don’t want to say it was the first time, but he was FaceTiming me and putting his phone up and I was watching him work out. It was not something that would be happening often. So this was going to be a special year. And, I mean, now you’ve got to carry on that legacy of him and what he has meant to me in my career, and obviously, in my life.”

He’s doing a fine job of that, becoming just the third Blue Jacket with Gaudreau and Andrew Cassels to post 20 points in his first 20 games with the club.

Given the tragedy, and ongoing injury battles that led to his unceremonious trade out of Calgary in 2022, it’s safe to say the hockey world has been cheering Monahan on.

Blake Coleman was one of the first to text Monahan when he scored opening night and punctuated it with an emotional point to the banner.

“I’m sure he’s playing with a heavy heart, and I would imagine he feels like John is along for the ride with him,” said Coleman, who said good people like Monahan are easy to root for.

“I think sometimes when you have higher motivation or something to play for, I’d imagine he feels connected to him in a way on the ice.”

Monahan concurred, saying he has plenty to play for.

“A huge reason I’m here is because of John, and I play for him, his wife, his kids, his family, guys in the room,” said Monahan, who sits top-50 in scoring with seven goals and 13 helpers.

“At the same time you are playing for yourself to get through a time like this. I try to enjoy it as much as I can. Having John’s wife here, and living two houses away from each other, has helped stabilize the situation.”

Blue Jacket coach Dean Evason said the club has made a conscious effort to keep Gaudreau’s memory alive, which led to the players awarding their player of the game “donkey hat” in Johnny’s honour.   

“I remember I was hurt in Montreal, and we’re playing Columbus — John actually came over and had the pregame meal at my house and took his nap there,” laughed Monahan.

“I drove him to the game. You look back at the memories, and it’s just the small little things that, I mean, really stick out to me and that relationship that obviously grew over a 12-year span.”

One of the most enduring images of Gaudreau’s time in Calgary was his postgame embrace with a plain-clothed Monahan as he exited the ice following his series-clinching overtime winner against Dallas in 2022.

“It wasn’t about the goal, it’s more so about his excitement and our friendship,” said Monahan of the hug.

“You watch him play the game, you know he loves the game. He scored that goal and I’m thinking, ‘He gets to play more games, and I get to watch.’

“It was a good, good moment, for sure, and one that I definitely look back on quite a bit.”

Thoughts like those help him through the tough moments.

“At some point, I think it’ll feel real,” said Monahan of losing his pal.

“But as of today, it still doesn’t for me.”